Hey Samantha,I really enjoyed reading your introduction to your story book. I thought it was unique to have Jane be the main voice and Tarzan be the second. I feel like too often men are given the primary role as speaker and it is refreshing to have the woman be the one, we are listening to. I really appreciated how you make everyone feel included who is going to be reading your stories. I do agree that we all come different homes and have differences that make us unique and we should not be ashamed of who we are. I know I am guilty of being ashamed of having depression and severe ADHD but as I have grown older, I have learned that it makes me who I am, so this intro really spoke to me. I was just curious, is Jane or Tarzan speaking at the end of the introduction. Also, I was wondering if maybe we could get a little taste of what kind of stories we might be reading because I definitely want to read more of your stories when you post them. Overall, I thought you did a great job in letting us know that it is ok if we are different because everyone is. I think you have a great structure for the ftures stories to follow and cannot wait to read them!
Hi Samantha, I chose your storybook from the project list because of the title. I had to see what was happening, and I wasn't disappointed. Tarzan was my favorite movie growing up, I wore that VHS out! I loved Tantor and Terk so much. I am so excited to read this storybook. The banner image on the homepage is awesome! I really like the way that the intro page is set up. The images are place so that they flow with the story but don't interrupt it. I am curious, how far down the road is this? Tarzan doesn't seem to have fully developed his grammar skills. Where did they start this school? Maybe Jane, or Tarzan, could tell them a little bit about how the school was started, or you could include it in an author's note. I look forward to reading more about my favorite childhood characters and the new ones you bring into the story!
Hi Samantha!I liked your introduction a lot! I think it did a good job of establishing the setting and in providing a format for the stories to follow. I also liked how you teased the backstories of the individuals in the class - I'm assuming those will be your stories! It definitely drew me in. I do agree with Kaitlyn's comment that Tarzan's speech pattern threw off the timeline for me a little, so some explanation as to where they are in time and why they began the school would be helpful. Also, since all the individuals in the school are explaining "how they became feral", will they have a similar speech pattern or will they be further/less developed in their language skills? Overall, I think you did a great job introducing this and I'm excited to read more!
Hello Samantha,I love your title! Growing up I was always a huge fan of Tarzan so when I read the title I was interested just what you could be writing about. After reading the introduction I found myself compelled to read the next stories. I like how you told us about the stories you would tell without specifically saying these will be the stories I am going to write. I also love how you made Tarzan seem as though he didn’t have a full grasp of English. I think this is exactly what he would sound like if he were to speak to others like himself. Overall I love the layout of the website as well as the pictures you have chosen. I think I know the following three stories you will write about as well as the overarching theme. For the Introduction I would say it is perfect, I would maybe add a picture of Tarzan on that page since it is Jane and Tarzan speaking. One where he is grown up so the reader can picture the man speaking. Great job, I look forward to reading more from you!
Hey Samantha,This concept is absolutely brilliant. My favorite stories have always been when there is more information added to a character arc. In this case you are adding more information to the classic tale of Tarzan. It is so charming and funny to me that I was immediately pulled in. I was a huge fan of how you approached it from both Tarzan and Jane's perspective. You hinted at other tales like the jungle book too which is rewarding for more invested fans. You even made your grammar similar to Tarzan's in order to better fit that mold! I can sleep at night knowing that Tarzan and Jane gave back to their community and helped other people in the same position that Tarzan was in. You can go so many different ways from this introduction that I am genuinely unsure of what decision you will make going forward. However, based on this introduction I can tell that you are a gifted writer with a very vivid imagination.Good Luck!
Samantha, This is a fantastic concept. I was impressed by the creativity and thought you put in to designing this project. Also, I was so incredibly amazed at your ability to write in a way that gave these characters a real personality. I could hear them speaking and watch them interacting with one another!I wonder what the process was like to start such a school. Did they just randomly have the idea one day? Did it take awhile to get started and is brand new, or is this class one of many that Jane and Tarzan have worked with? I think it would be cool to see the current state of the school and if it is old or new.What if this is their first class ever, and they are just as confused and challenged as the children are. I think that would be a unique way to show that both the children AND Jane and Tarzan are all growing and learning. Loved this intro, AWESOME job!
Hi Samantha!Your storybook project is already looking so fun! The accurate dialects you chose for both characters is wonderful and really throws me back into the world of Tarzan. Jane is so kind and loving, and Tarzan really just wants to help Jane in every way possible. You showed that so well! I love how you described the characters that you will probably(?) be writing about, as it gives wonderful insight into what the readers might encounter. I'm curious to see if you will write any more about the school, or if you will tell the story and origin of the school through the kids who talk. It could be fun to include how they heard about the school and how they decided to trust Tarzan and Jane. I would think it would be difficult a little for Tarzan and Jane to gain a child's trust and convince them to attend the school. I love the direction this is going in and I can't wait to read more! Great job!
I became interested in your storybook through your title. The layout and the pictures on your website are amazing. At the end of your introduction, you included a brief background as to what stories you would be about. I wonder whether the stories will be in the students’ perspective or through the teachers’ perspective (Tarzan and Jane). Furthermore, I am curious about how the feral children found The School for Feral Children in the first place. If you wanted to, you could include that piece of information into the introduction as well! I am excited to see how your project turns out and how each story will develop. When I was editing my project website, I discovered that changing the banner image added to my overall concept. You could also change the banner image if you wanted to! These are just suggestions, and I hope I helped you in some way!
Hi Samantha! It's been a long time since I've seen Tarzan, so reading this introduction was a trip down memory lane for me. I love that you give Jane and Tarzan their own voices that make it very clear who's speaking and reminds readers of their backgrounds. I wonder if you will be telling the rest of the story from the students' perspectives, or will it be from Tarzan and Jane's perspectives? I think both could be really interesting, although I would love to hear the voices of the students. I'm not sure if you plan to focus on the present with their classes, or with the students' pasts, but I'm definitely interested in the stories of how each of them became feral beyond the things Jane says in the introduction! I'm looking forward to see more of your writing, and I'm excited to see the direction your stories take!
Hey Samantha!I really liked your introduction! I liked the style of it being all dialogue between Jane and Tarzan. I think you should include a link to your introduction on your home page to make it more easily accessible to your readers. I am interested to see what the actual stories are about. Jane and Tarzans own children? Or children that ended up like Tarzan by being left there in the jungle. Either way I think your story book will end up being really interesting and light hearted. You could even tell a story about what it was like for Tarzan to grow up alone using his own perspective. I also think it would be cute to explore the curriculum Jane and Tarzan have laid out for the children. Is Jane teaching them math while Tarzan teaches them how to swing vine to vine? I think you have many directions you can go!-Sam
Hi Samantha! I have to admit that I picked your project to read this week because of the interesting title. I was happily surprised when I clicked over to your website and found that it was about Tarzan and Jane. You did a nice job with the introduction. I like how the main characters are talking directly to the readers. After reading through the introduction, I am very curious as to what your stories are look like. It looks like it is going to be a series of introductions from the students, is that right? I wonder if it would be helpful to add some information about the current students in the introduction. It would be interesting to have Jane go around and describe the students that she is addressing. You also did a nice job of setting up your website. Everything is cohesive and easy to read. Even your banner image reminds me of trees and the jungle. Great job so far!
Hi Samantha, I picked your topic because I thought the name was super funny. I was expecting random stories about feral children and it never occurred to me that Romulus and Remus were feral kids haha. Anyways, I really liked the way that you started your introduction over the students. It is really awesome that the characters seem to break the fourth wall by talking to us and addressing us. One thing that I wondered was if you were going to continue with the first person point of view? That would be a very unique storybook and definitely add a different spin to the stories if we could be addressed and the story develops each time. Perhaps you could leave the reader with some questions to think about in the form of questions? I know I always enjoyed a little bit of critical thinking about what's next in a story by being addressed. Anyways, great story and I look forward to reading the rest of it!
Hi Samantha!You've done a fantastic job with your storybook so far! The idea is wonderfully endearing, and I love how you have structured the introduction as a welcome given by Jane and Tarzan. The way you have shaped Tarzan's voice adds great dimension to his character, since it is clear his English is still a little rusty compared to Jane's. It might be interesting to experiment with this same kind of voice with the other characters who grew up in wild settings.You did a very nice job with your first story. The interspersed dialogue between Remus, Romulus, and Jane is well done - I would consider expanding on the amount of dialogue you incorporate, maybe even bringing in other characters to ask questions and engage with their wild peers. I also think it would be interesting to add more information about the woodpecker. She is mentioned in passing, but I think you could potentially have some fun writing more about her character.
Hi Samantha!I picked your book because of the title; I was interested to learn what you meant by it. I was definitely surprised by the fact that it was about Tarzan, but I did enjoy reading it a lot! I loved the way you characterized Romulus and Remus, as the dialogue definitely added a certain dimension that simple history doesn't have. I also liked that you had Tarzan speak, although generally he does not have as big speaking roles. I would wonder what would happen if you added other characters to the story that maybe wouldn't generally fit? I think you have a knack for storytelling and would love to see what you could do with it!
Hello Samantha! I love that title of your website! That was an immediate stand out to me. I got really excited to see a Tarzan website. Tarzan is one of the most memorable characters, to me, in the Disney movies which is awesome to see him come to life. The website itself is awesome. The pictures that you used are exceptional and a wide range which is interesting. I wasn't expecting such a mixture of images, but I got that and it was a nice collection of pictures. The website is an easy site to look at and navigate which is always a plus. The content within the website is exceptional. One of the best parts is the Tarzan dialogue that occurs. That is great to see even though his role in the stories isn't as big as I would have thought. I really enjoyed your website and I thought you did and exceptional job with it and hope to see great things in the future!!
Hi Samantha! I was excited to see you added a page to your storybook. I just had to come back and read it! I really, really love what you did with the Remus story. The characters are so well developed and unique. I got a strong sense of who Romulus and Remus were just by reading that short story. The way they interact, with Romulus being harsh and Remus being more kind, was set up perfectly from the very beginning. The reader can read so much between the lines because of Romulus' behavior at only thirteen. It's obvious he's been through a lot and is feeling really angsty. I also loved the way you wrote Jane to interrupt their arguments and get Remus back on track. Overall, I just really adore your writing style and can't wait to read more of this! I'm interested to see how you'll write Romulus' version of their story. Great job!
Hi Samantha! I really like your StoryBook theme and think that it is so unique! Upon looking at your website, I really like the photos you have chosen to accompany both your Introduction and first story. They do a good job at depicting the characters that are present in your StoryBook. After reading the Introduction, I am very impressed by the dialogue that you have written for each of the characters and feel that it shows their personalities well. I also like the “slang” you used in Tarzan’s dialogue to depict his lack of correct grammar, etc. In your first story, Remus, I appreciated that you included the spunky, edgy personality of Romulus. It not only served as some comedic relief in some instances, but it also added a great dynamic in your story and made me excited to read the next (I’m assuming it is about Romulus?). I am also curious if you are going to connect all of your stories or keep them separate? Great work!
Hi Samantha!Wow, I absolutely love your storybook! The idea is so creative and the execution of it is excellent! Aside from a few small grammatical errors, your writing is really clear and concise, and you do such an amazing job of characterizing Jane, Tarzan, and the feral children. I'm honestly really impressed with the cohesiveness of this project - I never would have thought to connect all these stories together through Disney's Tarzan, but you've done such a fantastic job of it. I also really thought you did a great job of implementing the relationship between Romulus and Remus. I picked up on a lot of the animosity coming from Romulus towards his brother, so when I read your author's note it made total sense. Speaking of your author's note, it was really informative and helpful. Overall, I think you've done a great job so far - maybe just double check for a few little grammatical things. Good luck! :)
Hi Samantha! I Love how Jane is the voice of your story! A change in narrator can do so much!! You also made the story work so well. I am so sure I could not have done that. Romulus and Remus has been done so many times I didn't think it could be done originally anymore- but you gave it new life. I also love the teenage angst you put in the characters. Their moods make me want to read more! Great job!
Hey Samantha! I really like your storybook idea. It's so creative and I haven't seen anything like it so far. I think it's a really great idea to combine Tarzan and Jane, who anyone who watching Disney movies knows a lot about, with older myths and fairytales. There are quite a few stories about children who were raised by animals instead of people (like Atalanta in ancient Greece, for example) so I bet you have a lot of material to work with. I really enjoyed reading your introduction and your first story. Your writing is very creative and descriptive, so it's easy for the reader to imagine what's going on and pay attention throughout the story. After reading Remus's and Romulus's story, I would be really interested to see where they end up in their lives after school. I'm excited to see where you go with the rest of your stories, keep up the good work!
Hello Samantha!Your introduction does a great job of setting up the setting for your stories. The idea of a school for feral children sounds really interesting. I wonder how the kids would get along. Having Jane and Tarzan as the teachers of the school was a really good idea too! The first story about the twin boys was really interesting. At first I was a little confused but once I read that they were Greek it made sense lol. I like how you characterized the brothers. With one being a softy and the other being mean I thought the duo was really funny. I was a little surprised after reading your authors note that Romulus basically saved Remus from the evil kind only to kill him in the future. I hope they don't have the same fate in your story lol. Great job!
Hi Samantha!This is the second time I've commented on this story book, and I am very happy with how it is coming along! I always thought that your idea was super interesting, and I love that you introduced a new character along with your old ones this week! I especially loved how you characterized Pecos Bill. The dialogue that you used was pretty accurate, and definitely brought the character to life more than having him talk like a normal person would have. Your writing is very descriptive, and pairing that with your creativity makes for some pretty interesting reads. The only thing I would have to say is to potentially include your author's note on the same page as the story, because I didn't realize where it was at first. However, I understand the draw of making it on a different page to avoid clutter. I cannot wait to read the rest of your stories!
Hi Samantha! I want to start off by saying that I love the layout of your website! I think it's so cool how you have a whole different tab for author's notes, instead of just having it at the end of your story. I haven't seen anyone do that before so I think that's unique. That also gives you more space to put images like you did. Moving on to your storybook, I love the theme! I think your introduction also does a great job at describing what this school is about and what kind of students you get there. I'm a big fan of dialogue because I think that really helps us to get to know the character well and so I think the dialogue in the introduction and both of your stories was really good. Since the focus for this week is on image, I want to say that all of the images you have used so far in your storybook are awesome! I think yours in the also one of the few I have seen so far that has this many images. Overall, I really enjoyed going through your storybook. I can't wait to comeback and read another story!
Hi Samantha! First of all, I love the idea behind this project! I loved the Tarzan movie and am so excited for the life that you will bring to this preexisting story through your retelling. I also like the organization of your webpage! The layout is clean, simple, and easy to follow! Moving on to the images, I loved all of the bright and playful images that you used, starting with the images of Tarzan and Jane themselves at the beginning of the storybook. The only change I might recommend is using bright and colorful pictures all the way through. You began your story with the bright profiles of the main characters, but then followed up with a black and white image. I feel that it might help with the continuity if you chose one color scheme and stuck to it! Overall though, I loved your storybook idea and I loved the details you used to bring this idea to life! I can’t wait to read what happens next at the school for feral children!
Hey there Samantha! I just had the chance to take a look at your project, and I love what you decided to use as your topic! Tarzan and Jane are characters that most people are familiar with, and so it was really smart to choose them as a mold for your retelling of original stories. Your project is really easy to navigate and the images that you chose all seem bright, colorful, and flow with the site overall except for your first story. The colorfulness is great, and so I would recommend changing the black and white theme of that page to match the rest. I loved the stories that you decided to use, as they all connect well with each other and your theme as a whole. Your writing is easy to follow, and all of your stories were entertaining! Great job, and I look forward to checking out more of your stories in the future!
Hi Samantha,Ahhh, I just read your new story and I love it! I know I already commented on your first story and introduction, but I thought you did such a great job that I decided to come back to your storybook for commenting this week and I was not disappointed. That said, I'll try to keep my comments mostly limited to the Pecos Bill story, since you already have my feedback for the earlier ones. I think you did a fantastic job of adapting Pecos Bill to fit the premise of your website, and I love that you decided to add that "charm" you were talking about in your author's note - I concur; having him lasso down the stars is far cuter. My only real critique here would be that, at times, Tarzan's dialogue doesn't seem totally consistent. His vocabulary and structuring of sentences seems much more advanced at some times than at others, so you might want to even that out just a bit. Otherwise, though, awesome job! I was so sad for Pecos when the brown-haired girl made him feel like his plan wasn't romantic!
HI Samantha, I cannot believe that I just found your storybook. It is such a unique and interesting idea. I can totally see Jane and Tarzan coming up with a school to help out fellow children of the jungle/forest. The introduction was catchy and I was immediately hooked. I really enjoy how you used first person and made it seem like the reader was in the head of Jane. Having Romulus and Remus was also such a perfect idea. I did not expect you to crossover stories from such different time periods or cultures, but it works perfectly for your idea. Moreover, your author's note was substantial and provided ample information which is very helpful to the reader. I also like how you transition into the next story at the end of your first story. Peco Bills was a great story to read. I enjoyed how you tried to include the dialect of the character.
Hi Samantha, revisiting your blog again and glad that your stories are still holding up to their charm! I love that you use Tarzan and Jane as the picture and seeing how they join in the school to help out the little feral kids crack me up. Your crossovers are great and combined unexpected characters with really fitting situations. The author's notes also do help a lot and I appreciate the amount of detail you put into them. One thing that I was thinking about that could be better is to keep the dialogue a little bit more consistent. I under that you're keeping Tarzan kinda feral and maybe introducing a little more detail about that would help make the flow better! I'm excited to read more!
Hey Samantha! To start, I loved your main page. I thought the heading picture was a perfect fit, I loved the easily-accessible tabs to the introduction and different stories, and I also really enjoyed the name of your website. Your writing style for this story was so clever- having Tarzan speak like he was from the wild was a great idea, and you kept it consistent. Great job with that! I liked all of the dialogue in the first story. This kept my attention and made it very easy to read. It threw me off at first that your author's notes were on different pages than the actual story, but then I liked that. It helped keep the story very clear, and I felt like I was able to see all of your ideas in one place. This was the only story I've seen with the author's notes like this. Overall, you're doing great!
Hey Samantha! Abby from Epics of India here. Your Storybook has such a great flow to it! The formatting is really clean, the paragraph breaks are really logical, and the dialogue flows really naturally. The way you use images to break up the text works really well also. Using Jane as a narrator who keeps the students/their stories on track worked really well. I did notice that you used header images in the Intro and Author's Notes, but not for the stories--was that an intentional decision to leave the story header white? I think having additional images, even if they're just background designs like the Intro would look good! Overall, your Storybook was extremely well-done and fun to read!
Hi Samantha!This was a creative storybook concept and I really enjoyed reading through it. The images you included are fun, I want to re-watch the animated Tarzan movie! I especially enjoyed the Romulus and Remus story, I'm in a class on Rome right now. The re-telling was well-done, you did a particularly good job with the dialogue. The way you portrayed the brothers' contentious relationship definitely made me laugh! Jane is a kind, consistent character throughout your project. We were supposed to look at paragraph length for today's storybook comments, but I can't find anything I would change about your paragraphs! The short length made them very readable, and I liked how dialogue driven your project is. Are you planning on adding another story? The project feels like it might need one more to finish it out! The author's notes at the end provide helpful story context. Excellent job overall, this is a great storybook.
Hello Samantha, I think you did such a great job with this storybook. It is such an interesting way to tie in all of these different stories. You wrote it all so well! Regarding the Remus and Romulus story I think you did a great job in switching from a child like dialogue to Jane's more mature voice. Just one thing that I noticed was you say, "Remus do you remember that..." and I think you meant to say Romulus. Other than that I think you did a great job with dialogue. I like that you made Jane really interested in the story and the pictures you added really helped with adding a more vivid scene. I have never read the story of Remus and Romulus before and this story makes me want to do a little research. Good job!
Hello Samantha!I can not believe I haven't come across this storybook before now because it is so interesting! I was a huge fan of the Tarzan stories when I was younger so reading more about Tarzan and Jane's relationship after the stories I knew about was very interesting. I especially liked how your writing style changed when different characters were speaking. That attention to detail is often missed with inexperienced writers but by reading this storybook I can tell that you have had previous experience as a writer. This was a very interesting storybook and I am very happy I found it before this class ended.