Demetrius was my grandfather's brother, and a very clever turkey hunter. Every day he used to go out hunting in the woods, and every day he killed many turkey, which he used to smuggle into his house so that no one should know that he had killed any.
His family used each day to ask him: "Demetrius, have you killed any turkey?" And he would answer "No," although his house was full of turkey meat going rotten.
All this time the fetish Sunga was watching and was grieved to hear him lie thus. So one day she sent one of her little servants to the place where Demetrius was fishing to call him to her.
It happened that upon that day Demetrius killed so many turkey that he had to make larger sacks to carry them all. He had already filled two and placed them in the fork of a large tree when he heard three distinct clappings of the hands, as if some child were saluting him, and then he heard a voice saying: "Come to my mother."
Then Demetrius was greatly afraid and answered: "Which way? Please show me the way."
"Follow me," said the voice of the child as she led him deeper into the woods.
After several minutes, the trees around them disappeared, and all the wildlife had vanished, so that the woods had formed a perfect road for them.
When they had reached a large field of green, there in the distance he saw a large and beautiful town. Here he was met by many people and warmly welcomed. They led him to a chair and asked him to be seated. But he was alarmed at all this ceremony and wondered what it all meant.
Then Sunga laid a table before him, and loaded it with food and wine, and asked him to eat and drink. But he was still afraid and told Sunga that so grand was the feast she had placed before him that the smell alone of it had satisfied him. Then she pressed him to eat and drink, and finally he did so, drinking all the wine that there was.
Then Sunga deprived him of both his arms so he could never kill turkey again, and deprived him of his tongue so he could never lie again.
And so for the future, Sunga gave power to my grandfather to be a very skillful turkey hunter who shared his kills with his family.
Author's Note: In the original story, the main character was a skilled fisherman, who at the end had his voice taken away by the female fetish (goddess), Sunga because he was always lying and saying he did not catch any fish. As you can see, I decided to change up the skill of the main character, as well as alter the ending so it was a more brutal punishment, yet still left Demetrius' family with some who could provide them with food. Thanks for reading my story!
Hi Samantha!
ReplyDeleteI thought your story was interesting and well written. I really liked how you changed the occupation of the main character. I thought that it was funny that he was a turkey hunter because Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I also liked how you decided to make the hunter's punishment more severe in your adaption. I think that element allowed for the readers to have a better sense of the lesson that should be learned in this story; not to be selfish!
Hey Samantha! Really enjoyed reading this story. I liked how you wrote the story from the perspective of the grandson who was watching Demetrius hide food from his family. The punishment at the end was definitely a twist I wasn't expecting, but it made for a good resolution. Why did you call Sunga a fetish instead of a goddess? I assume it's some of the language from the original story, but I'm curious as to what goes behind that. Good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Samantha, I liked the subtle twists you added to the original story. I had recently read it, so I was just thinking how familiar the premise seemed until it dawned on me. I'm glad that you had the forethought to ensure that the fetish gave someone else in the family the skill to hunt. I can imagine that reading the story with no idea what a fetish was could be confusing, so it was fitting that you explained that in the author's note.
ReplyDeleteHey Samantha!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your take on this story! I thing the punishment definitely fit the crime for sure. I liked how you really brought this story to life. I think this story is a good reminder to us that there is no reason to lie. Eventually, you will be caught, and you will be punished greater for all the lies that you have spread. I feel that this story also helps portaty the fact that everyone should be open and share with one another. We are all humans and should help each other other out when others are in need. Overall, I felt you did a great job with this story and I cannot wait to read more!
Hey Samantha!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story. I had never heard the story before so yours was a great way to hear it for the first time. I liked how you changed the main characters occupation. I've never really been into fishing. I think its funny how in your author's note you said how you wanted to change it to be a more brutal ending. I think you did a great job at writing dialogue.